Ahmed Mayeesha Reza Agomoni
“Guardian’s Contact Info…”
What was I even thinking, barging in here and wincing? To be completely honest, I was rather scared about a lot of things, one of them being tested positive for the corona virus. But spending dollars on gas to come all the way to the hospital and not having the guts to fill out the form made me downright furious as I walked out the door.
It has been a week since I was laid off of work and still could not see eye-to-eye with reality. All this time, I had been lying to my parents about going to work and spending time roaming around here and there instead. The fever had gotten way worse than I had anticipated and so I isolated myself, renting out a cheap hotel room. Probably not the best idea regarding the pandemic but that was the best I could do in such a situation. I excused myself from my parents’ house by telling them that my job required me to take the next flight to Texas for a project. Little did they know that their little girl was disinfecting the bedside table with a towel soaked in soap water.
Day 1 of self-isolation
I have been fidgety all day. I remember my parents giving me a hard time when I asked them to stay indoors instead of going outside to the park for their little tea-party with the neighbours. I cannot help but think that they went out today in my absence. They are in the highest risk category of the population so convincing them to stay indoors has been quite a big deal. But seeing the soaring number of deaths in the news really took a toll on them. I miss them so much and I have lost my appetite, shockingly, but I still need to eat something and take Budesonide.
Day 2 of self-isolation
Kudos to the media reporters and all other types of folks working constantly to keep our communities updated in this rollercoaster of events! Just thinking about all the people in my life who believe the response to Covid-19 has been too extreme and all of the other people who agree to disagree and think that the response has been paltry. How distinct the networks of communication in this country are, especially with respect to science. And I cannot, for the life of me, understand the hatred focused entirely on China. China owes nothing to anyone besides to its own citizens. We are only in the situation we are in because our government was unequipped to handle a virus that was going to spread regardless of where it came from. On another note, these dry coughs are killing me.
Day 3 of self-isolation
The coughs have gotten worse but our family doctor was sent elsewhere to treat patients and I refuse to be treated by anyone else because the next thing I know, I might be quarantined among the other less fortunate who were diagnosed with the virus. My heart goes out to them. Are my symptoms similar to that of the symptoms of Covid-19? Probably. Am I being an absolute idiot for not going to the hospital? Maybe. But I am very optimistic regarding the future. There is a 100% possibility of impending doom, but even after that I think there is something to look forward to. Don’t quote me on this.
Day 4 of self-isolation
My hands are quivering and I would do anything to have my parents here beside me, holding my hands, and assuring me that everything will be alright. I need someone who will tell me that I will get through this soon. I know what a grave mistake I have made. I should have gotten myself checked that day. This is not a regular asthma attack. I haven’t felt this way before. Why are tears rolling down my eyes? I have heard the argument for maintaining normalcy and the thing is that for some, it can be really helpful while for the others, feigning normalcy in a far-from-normal time — in this context, a freaking pandemic — can be extremely detrimental. It’s irresponsible to ignore it. Somehow reaching the door, panting and stumbling, I struggle to take my phone out and sit down on the floor immediately in order to catch my breath. It’s like my heart is going to burst out of my body and my lungs are begging for one last bit of oxygen. I won’t be able to make it out of this door. I dial, “9…1…”
Agomoni has a bittersweet relationship speaking Java and convincing her parents to watch soap operas and YouTube with her.